This is so funny, the hike in views in this blog.
Sorry I rarely update this blog, it is a year since the bereavement and I am ok now.

I wish I could break these chains and run back to you,
you'll be waiting, where the road ends,
where ends the pain.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=m_uWS6K-VF8

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=rIaN-HRR92A

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=UEvdEBSymOI

Child

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Gwx4iTRLXG8

Child:

The stars are shining
as she peacefully sleeps
like a child in her mother's arms
home, safe nurtured, unaware of the horrors to come

wrapped in blankets on the ground
out under the starry sky
the safest place on earth
close to you, like a child in her mother's arms

lying on the ground, breathing the cold night air
and looking at the shimmering diamond sky
happy, safe, loved, peaceful
as she sleeps in your arms 

alone on the ground, wrapped in blankets
and wrapped safe in your love and acceptance
in the silent night the small creatures run and the owl hoots
but she sleeps like a child in your arms, safe, peaceful, happy

the dawn comes and she wakes,
peaceful in the cold early dawn
to light the stove, wash, stash the blankets
and wait another day to sleep, safe under your loving care

oh if only she could go back, be a child in your arms again
those dark nights of safety and love
sleeping safe in your arms forever in an endless love and care, 
it's true in every way, she found paradise there

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=lmcPdC6GbJk

I'm feeling too ripped up to write what I want to write.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=o7VoIn2MuW4#aid=P9759_ZlRxI

cut up with grief at the moment, I remembered this song, which goes back a long way with me, but seemed so relevant, although I don't agree with all the lyrics.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=NX7JiBeGAcw

This song is capturing me at the moment, while my thoughts are there with you and the starry sky that I miss so very much.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=xjd7oyiNC7I

The Day I smile again

I wonder if there will be a day
When I can feel happy
When the old wonder and joy
Will be there, unbidden and undiluted

I wonder if I will look up
at the great hills that comfort me
without the fear and shame and dread
that have been there since you are dead

I remember how I loved to look at the hills
and now I look but without joy
without hope or belief
I am living dead 

I wish my body was full of life and strength
and my mind was full of joy as it was
I remember I could run, I could move
now I am as if frozen, almost lifeless

Time cannot be turned back, 
I will not regain who I was
so I walk on slowly
and wonder who I can be
and when the day will come
when I can smile again
and feel safe

 

Reaching back

A time of reaching back. Trying to get round limitations that cannot be got round.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=git6DCXSqjE&list=RDYiUQE5bJKFU

Farewell to a friend

Farewell to a friend
a friend from the streets
who shared the dark night
and the firelight

life out there is a kind of death
for those of us who are finished
but we keep each other company
as life and hope diminish

you and I we roamed them streets
seeking freedom from our scars
both of us still trying to escape
from those prison bars

the big dark night was the enemy
but it was also a good friend
we roamed the night with wild joy
and never knew it would end

the salt of the earth live out in the night
and you were a wonderful grain
but now your road goes on without us
never to meet again

The end is what we all wait for out there
and you are at last at peace
but I am here without you
in a night that may never cease

I wish you a peaceful journey brother,
and keep the memories here
of those days and nights as forgotten people
freed to disappear

Beautiful song.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=dcnd55tLCv8