Sorry, I think some people were expecting a Christmas post here. I will post one in the morning, I am so tired.

The inevitable

There comes a time when you know that the loss is real.

There was yesterday. Yesterday when I walked back to see the reality, when I sat close to you, my hand against the stone, and remembered.
My tears fell, and I marked the sign of the cross with my tears and I sat for some time and remembered, and knew.
I didn't want to leave you there, but in the end, I had to, and so I said goodbye, and the words became a reality, the one I had been avoiding so long, and I walked away from you in the gathering dark, to go on living as best I could.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=y28fyO0JreA

one alone

never has a night seemed so lonely
never so devoid of hope

than when I started my onward journey
alone and away from from you

the tears still fall unbidden
and I still turn back to try and find you

but no answer ever comes
and so I walk on alone

lonely

I haven't written in this blog for a while, although the sadness remains with me.
I guess with Christmas approaching, the memories come back, and I am thinking of you a lot today.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=HH_ddpVBFYQ