cut up with grief at the moment, I remembered this song, which goes back a long way with me, but seemed so relevant, although I don't agree with all the lyrics.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=NX7JiBeGAcw

This song is capturing me at the moment, while my thoughts are there with you and the starry sky that I miss so very much.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=xjd7oyiNC7I

The Day I smile again

I wonder if there will be a day
When I can feel happy
When the old wonder and joy
Will be there, unbidden and undiluted

I wonder if I will look up
at the great hills that comfort me
without the fear and shame and dread
that have been there since you are dead

I remember how I loved to look at the hills
and now I look but without joy
without hope or belief
I am living dead 

I wish my body was full of life and strength
and my mind was full of joy as it was
I remember I could run, I could move
now I am as if frozen, almost lifeless

Time cannot be turned back, 
I will not regain who I was
so I walk on slowly
and wonder who I can be
and when the day will come
when I can smile again
and feel safe

 

Reaching back

A time of reaching back. Trying to get round limitations that cannot be got round.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=git6DCXSqjE&list=RDYiUQE5bJKFU

Farewell to a friend

Farewell to a friend
a friend from the streets
who shared the dark night
and the firelight

life out there is a kind of death
for those of us who are finished
but we keep each other company
as life and hope diminish

you and I we roamed them streets
seeking freedom from our scars
both of us still trying to escape
from those prison bars

the big dark night was the enemy
but it was also a good friend
we roamed the night with wild joy
and never knew it would end

the salt of the earth live out in the night
and you were a wonderful grain
but now your road goes on without us
never to meet again

The end is what we all wait for out there
and you are at last at peace
but I am here without you
in a night that may never cease

I wish you a peaceful journey brother,
and keep the memories here
of those days and nights as forgotten people
freed to disappear

Beautiful song.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=dcnd55tLCv8

Sorry, I think some people were expecting a Christmas post here. I will post one in the morning, I am so tired.